Character Showcase - Goody Murklins

In THE CROLLALANZAS, Goody Murklins is an eccentric old lady who lives at Threavewode House in the care of Rollo Meadowaine, the Marquess of Abbingford. Goody Murklins was, many years ago, nurse to Rollo’s wife, which makes her close to her centennial, but she still manages to enjoy a few lively adventures— even if they are mostly in her head.


Employing a selective deafness, she gets away with a great deal of bad behavior. Her most oft repeated phrase is a gleefully uttered, “That stain won’t come out.”


With only a few teeth left, she is brought pottage and broth to eat, but that does not stop her from lusting after the meat at table and she will gladly cause a distraction just to steal it from somebody else’s plate. If you should chance to be seated opposite her at the table, best wear your oldest clothes.

Rollo takes her words of advice to heart, even though nobody ever sees her give him any. The old lady seldom speaks any apparent sense, considers the people among whom she lives as “ne’er do wells” and is on a constant hunt for plum puddings that she claims she was once promised.

Nevertheless, Rollo often spouts her words of wisdom. Is he remembering conversations long past, or does he simply put his own words and wishes into her mouth?


Goody Murklins is the only female who resides at Threavewode House. The only living female, that is.  But she seems well aware of the presence of others and many of them live in the library, wandering among the books and treasures Rollo has collected there. She might have eyes milky with age, but Goody Murklins has seen a great deal of life and death. And she still sees a lot that goes on in that house. When the master of it is being stubborn, bull-headed or unintentionally blind, Goody Murklins is not afraid to steer him right. At least, he tells folk that he hears all this from her, but he would not want anybody to think he’s going soft and suddenly in possession of an unmanly conscience, would he?


Perhaps Goody Murklins is his conscience.


Like the spirits in the library, Goody Murklins enjoys books too, but primarily for the crunching noise they make as she rips out their pages. And be warned -- it is a favorite game of hers to hide those pages inside other books, scattered all over the library.

She is a lady who has lived well beyond the age of life expectancy in her century, but she is not yet ready to give in. Although most folk may not see it, she knows she still has a purpose in this world. She still has a wrong to right.

As she says to a certain playwright one day, “Good wombs have borne bad sons. And far better daughters.”

Rollo Meadowaine has two grandsons. One is the only surviving legitimate child of his son, Percival. The other is the illegitimate son of Rollo’s daughter, Eliza, who he once disowned because she refused to obey him and marry the man he chose for her. Now, Rollo believes he must not show any fondness for his daughter’s son (referred to by him as “The Bastard”), or else he will lose face. But Goody Murklins, who loved Rollo’s wife all her life, knows he must be made to put his pride aside and see sense, before it is all too late. She is not quite so "in the dark" as her name suggests.

Meet Goody Murklins— in her best ginger wig, if not her best behavior— this Friday in THE CROLLALANZAS. And if you value your fingertips, best bring plum pudding.

(Image:  Portrait of an old woman reading by Gerrit Dou c. 1630-1635)