A Father's Legacy

 When our father died in May of 2016 he was 89. He left behind a family that loved him and would miss him greatly, every day. But he also left us with his memories, typed up in a computer file so that we couldn't forget them. Reading his words, even now, five years later, we can still hear his voice telling those stories; we can still see his smile and his eyes crinkling up with laughter. He left us, and future generations of our family, with a wonderful gift. I'm sure he had no idea how much it would be cherished. 

Last year, at the peak of lockdown, my sisters and I decided that we'd try to do something for him in return. We collaborated long-distance on a book, using his words and some of our own.

It is not a thick, heavy important book of the sort that might catch Oprah's eye. We don't have a large marketing budget to help promote it and we rely on word of mouth. But we never expected to have a best seller on our hands, in any case. We simply wanted to get his story out there for other folk to read and enjoy. We wanted to share a little bit of the lovely man, who we were lucky enough to know as our father, with the rest of the world. Hopefully, we thought, there will be some people who might find encouragement from our dad's story. I know that we found the process of writing and producing the book extremely uplifting, especially during what was otherwise a difficult year for everybody. It brought us, in many ways, even closer to dad. At times, it felt as if he was right there with us, putting the story together and offering advice. I hope he's pleased and proud of the finished product.

We'll never stop missing him, but we've managed to keep a part of our dad very much alive with us, not just in the many photos and home movies he collected over his 89 years, but in his story. In "Everything He Never Said" our father's voice lives on and is still making people laugh, which he would have enjoyed very much in his own mischievous way. 

Of course, his story is not all laughter. Nobody's story is all light and sunshine. Our father had more than his share of struggles along the way, but he managed to keep going and overcome all the obstacles to build a good life for his daughters. He never looked for anybody's pity and if he had sad days when we were growing up, he never showed it. I'm sure that writing it all down at last was cathartic for him too.

Our father was a quiet man who didn't like to make a fuss. He had strong opinions, but wasn't likely to talk about them very often. So what would he have thought of being put out there on the internet? I worried, at first, that he might not approve. But now I think he would be amused and fascinated by the technology behind it all. He enjoyed learning about new things and was never afraid to try anything. When we were schoolchildren he loved hearing about our lessons and, since his own formal education had been limited, he often shared in the discoveries we made along the way. 

"Fancy that!" I can hear him saying with a chuckle. 

So while he might never have done this for himself, I believe he would be quietly proud and surprised that we did it for him, and pleased that we managed to get the project completed together.

In fact, I think that our dad would have become an author himself, if he'd had more time. When he first learned how to use a computer, he began writing some fiction and enjoyed it tremendously. He never tried to get anything published, but his head was full of stories and characters -- much like my own. And he believed in going as far as we might go; of getting as much out of life as we could. He didn't have much time for people who sat on their behinds, felt sorry for themselves and got nothing done. He liked to keep busy and moving forward. He loved gory computer games and was thrilled by the development of remote controlled TV when we were kids! If you've read the book, you can imagine the tricks he played on us with that.

So I'm glad that we helped him move on with the times again and finally become a published author. We have set him off on a new adventure across the world. He might not be on the other end of a phone line anymore, but his love is still with us. It will live on with us -- with his grandchildren, great-grandchildren, nieces and nephews --all via the magic of the internet.

Yes, he would be amazed and, I think, shyly chuffed.

I keep an old black and white photo of dad with his brother in a frame on my living room wall. While we were working on the book, I found a beautifully patterned brown moth one morning, perched on the frame, sleeping with its wings spread out to show off and feel the sunlight. I like to think it was dad giving his blessing and saying "Get on with it, gell! I'm here!"

Thank you, Dad, not just for "Everything He Never Said", but also for everything you ever did. For everything you gave us.

xxx

(EVERYTHING HE NEVER SAID (e-book version) is now available at a special price from Amazon in your country! It is also available as paperback at the original pricing.)